The Soul of Leadership - SMC 101 Blog Topic

Leading with Soul...this descriptor encompasses a lot. It is our soul that makes us who we are. And that's a good question. Who are you? The author of this chapter touched on this and it brought back memories of an experience at church camp when I was in high school. The guy leading our group had us all sit in a circle and asked that question. He would go from person to person, getting a little frustrated when we would only say our names. So, who am I?

I am a daughter. I am a daughter who often takes her parents and their love and concern for granted. More than often, I put my own needs before my the needs of my mom and dad, but they continue to love me anyway. I am a daughter who is loved. I am a daughter who loves.

I am a sister. I am a sister who longs for a deeper relationship with her sibling. I am a sister who lets weeks go by without calling or being called. But when it counts, I am a sister who is there!

I am blessed. I am better than I deserve. I am thankful for the life I have been given and the opportunities that God has set before me. But often, I take this life for granted and fail to take advantage of every opportunity.

I am a crier. I cry at movies, TV shows, weddings, funerals, graduations, and in those rare but quiet times at night when my heart hurts. It is then that my cries are the most pure, because it is then that I cry out to God, begging him to hear my secret pain. And he always does. And he comforts me.

I am creative. I like to make things new. The status quo bores me and frustrates me to no end! Life should be exciting and new every day. Not the same old thing.

I am a risk taker, but only in the abstract. I'm not sure if this is even possible, but it pretty much describes me. I can take risks with ideas, but not with the physical. I won't even get on an airplane because of my irrational fear, but I firmly believe that groups and organizations will never grow unless they are willing to let go of their fears and take risks. I guess I should reevaluate my thinking on this or line my actions up with my values.

I am a maker of music. Music is in my soul. It has been from the day I was born. I can't hide it. I can't fight it. The music must get out! I must sing!!!! I must compose!!!! I must SING!

I am a sinner. I struggle every day to die to self and take up the cross. I struggle to live with the joy that has been given to me in Jesus Christ. Instead, I let my shortcomings and my sinful nature reign. Thank God for His amazing grace. I am a sinner, but I have been redeemed!

So, that's who I am, or at least a part of who I am. I think it might take up more space than we have to truly describe who I am. But if we don't take time to really understand who we are, we can never truly help others discover who they are. And this is what leaders do. This is what leaders with soul do! Help others facilitate that discovery. Help others learn to trust themselves and others. Help others learn to take risks. Help others learn what it means to serve. Help others learn...

Knowing God

The horrific wildfires in California were obviously the top story on this morning’s Today Show. Although I didn’t watch, a friend was telling me that the journalists were reporting that many people were returning to the remains of their homes, finding nothing but the fireproof safes storing their most treasured possessions and paperwork. Matt Lauer then shared that he talked about the importance of those fireproof safes all of the time on the show, yet he doesn’t own one. The other journalists sitting around the couch echoed the same sentiments. They know how essential they are, but they’ve never taken the time to purchase one.

I immediately thought of how this is an analogy to the spiritual lives of many people around the world. People know about God. People know about Jesus. They know the stories. They know Bible verses. They may even go to church on a semi-regular basis. They hear people talk about God answering prayer. They’ve probably even prayed to God in times of desperation and great need. But that’s where it ends. They don’t really know God. They may even attest to how important knowing God is, but just like those journalists without the fire safes, they’ve never taken the time to get to “know” God! And unlike the fire safe, which can be somewhat expensive, knowing God and accepting His grace is FREE. Yet still, people refuse God. We refuse to spend time with Him. We refuse His grace and everlasting mercy. We refuse His love. Oh, we can know about him, but to truly know Him might mean we have to change. It might mean we have to give up something in our lives.

But what’s the alternative? Revelation 20:14-15 says, “14Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. The lake of fire is the second death. 15If anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. “ A life spent knowing about God but not knowing God has consequences, much like the fires in California that are destroying homes, land, and lives. We must be prepared. Someone once told me that there are about 18 inches between the head and the heart. Many people miss heaven by those 18 inches. Oh, they know about God. They know God in their heads, but God is not present in their hearts where it really matters. Knowing that you should have a fire safe has no benefit in the aftermath of a fire, when everything in your home has been destroyed. And knowing that you should have accepted Jesus as your Savior will have no benefit when you are standing before the throne of God during the Day of Judgment. Jesus stands with arms wide open, offering the gift of eternal salvation to all. "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If any one hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him and he with Me." (Revelation 3:20).

Attitude - Let Your Leadership Speak Chapter 3

In the movie "Facing the Giants" the coach is a true example of how one's attitude can make a difference. He challenged his players to change their attitudes, both on and off the football field. Leaders sometimes forget or just don't want to realize that their own attitude will determine the attitude and spirit of those that follow them. In th big things and in the little things! Making sure people know they are appreciated goes a long way. Addressing problem areas in the right context and at the right time can make all of the difference.

We can learn a great deal from the dandelion. "The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment." This quote speaks volumes to me! I think back to a time when I was a child in my grandmother's yard. The dandelions were out in full force (in dandelion dust mode, when they are white, not yellow). I of course loved to pick dandelion after dandelion, close my eyes, make a wish, and blow as hard as I possible could. If all of the dust was gone when I opened my eyes, my wish was sure to come true. I remember my father scolding me for taking part in this childish activity. It was not that he didn't believe in wishes. He just knew that the more I blew that dandelion dust across the yard, the more dandelions would pop up, creating a yard full of them rather than grass. In my childish mind, there could be nothing better than a yard full of dandelions. I didn't quite understand my father's objection. As an adult, with my own yard, I now see his point. Dandelions can be quite annoying as they tend to consume the area around them. However, I often stop and force myself to remember those childhood wishes. It is with that spirit that I stop, pick a dandelion, close my eyes, make a wish, and blow with all of my might.

As leaders, we are more effective when we see dandelions as potential and be encouraging when dandelion dust flows and spins around us, than when we see dandelions as weeds trying to infest our territory!

Close your eyes! Make a wish! Blow! Blow! Blow!

On Relationships - SMC 101 Leadership Topic

I have a mentor. My mentor is a woman I deeply admire. I knew from the moment I met her that she would be an important influence on my life. Her name is Glenda. I met Glenda my junior year of college. I needed a job. She had a job opening. The beginning of a perfect match! Glenda is the executive director of a national honor society for college freshmen. She had just stepped into this role after several years of working in other forms of higher education. Her office was located on my college campus, and she knew that there were hundreds of possible resources located at her fingertips! She needed a student employee. I remember that job interview. I was so nervous. I really needed a job, and this one was right on campus. I could walk to work. They would work around my class schedule. It seemed perfect. If only I could interview well enough to get hired. I knew I was capable. I knew I could do the work. If only they would give me a chance!

I was not the only one who interviewed. In fact, several months after I was hired, Glenda told me that another applicant was probably more qualified for the job. However, they felt that student had too much on her plate already, so they chose me. How thankful I am that they chose me!!!!!

It did not take me long after I started working for Glenda for me to realize that my association with her would go much farther than my part-time job. Glenda was a smart woman. Glenda stayed on the cutting edge of everything. She read something worthwhile every day. She did her best to stay ahead of the technology game. She knew what it meant to position herself in her world. And I knew how important it was to position myself around her.

Glenda is an encourager. When I struggled with academic responsibilities, she encouraged me to persevere. When I struggled with spiritual issues, she encouraged me to seek understanding. When I struggled with family issues, she encouraged me to keep the lines of communication open.

Glenda is a leader. She is in charge of leading a national organization. She is responsible for organizing volunteers located throughout the nation to action for the good of the organization. She is responsible for providing a vision for the organization, both for the present and the future. She is responsible for making sure the organization knows this vision and acts upon it.

Glenda could have just been another boss. I made a choice, though, to learn from Glenda. I made a choice to listen to Glenda, both her words and her experience. I made a choice to accept Glenda as my mentor and friend.

Glenda is still my go-to person. When I have a professional struggle, I often seek Glenda's advice. She has been where I am. She has contacts that can boost me in my professional life. She has words of wisdom to share. She encourages me to strive for excellence. She encourages me to take risks. If I had failed to develop such a strong working relationship with Glenda during college, I would not be where I am today.

The ability and willingness to build relationships with people who care, people who share your values, people who seek excellence, is an important quality every leader should have. But we must open ourselves to teachable moments. We must listen to others and learn from our relationships. We must position ourselves around people who want the best for us and who understand the role they play.

Death of a saint

I just found out that the world lost one its greatest musicians in July 2007. Most people have never heard of her, but for a group of girls, spanning several generations, she will forever be remembered. I will especially remember her on Sunday evenings during the summers or when I hear the song "Climb Every Mountain." I will remember her anytime I have the privilege of directing the children's choir at church. I will remember her when I'm asked to quote my favorite scripture. I will certainly remember her anytime I see the cover of one of those old Sing & Celebrate songbooks.

Judye MacMillan, or Judye Mac, served her Lord and Savior for countless summers as the music director at Camp Crestridge for Girls in Ridgecrest, NC. I had the opportunity to attend that camp for seven summers, and Judye Mac was always a vital part of my summer experience. In fact, when I picture the Crestridge chapel in my head, it's hard not to see her standing on stage leading the music. For many years, I was deathly afraid of her. Maybe afraid isn't the right word. I was in awe of her. Yes, that's it, AWE! She knew so much about music. She demanded excellence. One of my fellow Crestridge alumni described her as "commanding your attention." And she did. Not with a loud booming voice. Not with a mean spirit. But with a gentle, quiet strength. And we knew that everything she did, she did for God's glory.

She is the only woman I know that could take 40-50 girls, put a musical in their hands, and have it perfect and ready to share in four weeks, with just 1-2 hours of practice per day. And this was not just singing. There was drama! There was dancing! It was amazing! And, half of the girls left at the end of two weeks and were replaced with different girls. Somehow, it all worked out. I still remember the musicals, the songs, the motions, so much. And she did this on top of teaching songs for worship on Sunday mornings. One of the songs she taught me was called "A Man for all Seasons." I remember where I was standing when we learned that song. I remember her sharing with us how the song spoke to her. It's still one of my favorite songs.

There is only one other person in my life who has influenced me so much musically, and that is Carolynn Malmborg. Interestingly enough, Mrs. Malmborg and Judye Mac both attended Carson Newman College, both majored in music education, and attended during the same 10 year span. They are very similar in their approaches to directing choirs. It's almost spooky sometimes. I guess they learned from the best, and I am privileged to say, that I, too, learned from their best!

But the one thing I will never forget about Judye Mac is what she told my mom after closing program during my last summer as a camper in 1993. For some reason that year, I was heavily involved in the music skill classes. I sang in both ensembles, sang in the CCC choir, and took guitar. I'm not really sure why. I guess I knew it was my last year, and I wanted to take advantage of every opportunity to learn from Judye Mac and her music staff. Maybe I was just beginning to discover my love for music. I remember being selected to serve as the music assistant on camper day that year. I was so excited! I remember thinking, "Wow, they must think I can do this if they selected me. I didn't even know they knew my name!" A few days later, after rehearsal for closing program, I received one of the greatest honors of my life. It was time for camp awards to be given out. I had received awards in years past, for archery, puppets (only because I was the only person in the class over the age of 10!), and more, but there was one award that seemed to be coveted by everyone at camp, at least those of us who were musically inclined: the CCC Music Award. Looking back, I'm not sure why it held such high esteem in our minds, over all of the other awards, but now I think I'm beginning to understand. Receiving that award meant you received Judye Mac's seal of approval! I thought I had heard wrong when they called my name. Surely I was just hearing what I wanted to hear. That award still means more to me than I can describe with words, because I know that Judye Mac approved of me and at least for a moment, believed I was worthy of such an honor. But there is something that means more than that. After closing program that year, Judye Mac pulled my mom aside and uttered words that I will always remember. "Don't ever let her stop singing." I know that I am not the most talented singer in the world. I would probably never make it onto American Idol (even if I was still young enough). But those six words have encouraged me over the past 14 years over and over again. God reminded me of her words in college when I did not make it into the singing ensemble for our BSU. Little did I know that God had other great things in store for me that I would have missed if I had been a part of that group. God has used that encouragement countless times in my life, even at times when my pride was getting in the way of His plan. And I know that Judye Mac was not just referring to singing when she spoke those words to my mom. She was talking about using my talents to glorify my heavenly father, for now and evermore! Just as she taught us countless times to say I Am Willing Lord to play The Part that You Wrote for Me because we know that Nothing can Separate us from His Love.

This past December I did an internet search to find Judye Mac. I was going to email her and thank her for the influence she had on my life. I found her email address but got busy after the Christmas holidays and never took the time to send her a message. How I regret that now! I wish I could tell her how much she meant to me and how much she shaped my life, both musically and otherwise. We have truly lost a musical saint! I direct the children's choir at my church. We start rehearsals again in just a few weeks. I hope that I can be just 1/10 of the director for them that Judye Mac was for countless girls at Camp Crestridge. Thank God for Judye Mac and for the lives that she touched through her unselfish service to her Lord and Savior.

The following excerpt came from a monologue at the end of the Lifetime show, Army Wives on July 1st. While this is not directly from an army wife, I believe it is a reflection of how many feel. Sometimes we forget the role the families of those defending our freedoms both overseas and here at home play. I was brought to tears on Friday evening at the Red, White, and Boom celebration as I watched mothers file onto the stage holding pictures of their sons who are serving in the US military. As July 4th approaches and you pause to celebrate the freedoms we do have, pause to remember those fighting around the world for the cause of freedom, as well as their family members who live everyday with the burden of being separated from their loved ones.

I married a committed military man, and I have loved this military life. I have also had to put my personal opinions aside, to truly understand that our defenders of freedom are fighting a bigger battle. Not a political one. Their battle goes beyond politics, beyond religion, race, or gender. They’re the defenders for us all. They’re the defenders of our differences. As one soldier is taken away from us, another returns to us. There is balance in the universe, a natural system of order.

Look beside each soldier and you will find the people who fight with them. The spouses, the sons, the daughters, the families. We serve, too. Their victories are our victories. Their defeats are our defeats. Together we fight for our freedom.

For 18 years I have tried to be the perfect wife and mother. Each day I disappoint myself. Human life isn’t about perfection. It is about accepting the flawed, the misguided parts of ourselves. We keep trying, we keep loving, we keep believing. I am proud of the role we play maintaining peace in our country and in the world. I am proud to stand beside a man whose integrity shines like a diamond in the dust. And I am proud to call myself an army wife.

He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God. Joshua 4:24 (NIV)

My father has a tone of voice that means business. As a child, it frightened me into obedience. When I heard that tone inflected in his voice, I knew that something was not right. Fortunately, my dad used that tone of voice with my sister more often than with me, but it still had the same effect. I knew at that moment, my dad was demanding my attention and submission. As an adult, that tone of voice still affects me! In fact, it was only a few short months ago that I last heard my dad use that tone of voice. I had called my dad to ask him a question and seek his advice about a problem with my car. Looking back on the situation, I don’t think I really wanted his opinion. I just wanted him to agree with me. He kept trying to interject some very thoughtful and wise counsel, but I kept interrupting him. And then, I heard it! That tone of voice came through the telephone receiver and drew me to attention me just as much as is did when I was a small child sitting at the dinner table. “If you would just shut up and listen to me, I might be able to help you,” proclaimed the booming voice of my father. Now, you must understand that the tone of voice was not the only startling quality of this statement. In my parent’s household, shut up is and always has been a bad word. If individual words could receive ratings like movies, shut up would be rated R in my parents’ minds. I knew that if my dad was using a phrase he so deeply abhorred, along with the tone of voice, he meant business. Immediately, I was called to attention. I shut my mouth and truly listened to what my dad had to say. In that moment, God reminded me, that although I may be an adult, my father is still my father and deserves my respect. I may not agree with what he has to say, but I at least owe him the courtesy of listening. After all, I was the one who asked for his advice in the first place. How foolish can I be?

My dad’s tone of voice invokes fear. Not a fear of being physically or emotionally injured or attacked. My dad is one of the gentlest people I know. It is not a fear like small children have of monsters under their beds either. This fear is a sense of respect. This fear is the realization that I don’t have all of the answers and can benefit from the experience and love of my father. I just regret that it often takes this tone of voice to remind me that my dad is always deserving of such fear and respect. He deserves it because of his position, because of the love he has already shown me, and because of his promise to always take care of me. My desire should be to please him in all that I do. My desire should be to seek his wise counsel. My desire should be to honor him through my words, actions, and deeds.

What a moving picture of the relationship between father and child. There is one, however, who is more deserving of my fear and respect than my earthly father. Unfortunately, I treat Him much like I treat my dad. I get comfortable in my relationship with Him and fail to shower him with the respect He deserves. I so often fail to call on Him for guidance, and when I do, I don’t really want to listen to what He has to say. I want Him to agree with me. I want Him to tell me that I can do it my way. In fact, sometimes the only reason I go to Him in the first place is because I know I should. I don’t go with an open heart and an open mind. I approach Him with my mind made up and my feet firmly planted on the path of my choice. The one I am speaking of is my father, my Heavenly Father. In the book of Joshua, the prophet writes that God performed the great miracle at the Jordan River so that forever we would fear the Lord our God. I believe, though, that as the people of God, we have forgotten what it means to fear God, and the sad thing is, most of the time we don’t even care. We are more content to live our lives according to our standards, ignoring the loving God who created us to walk in communion with Him. When we truly fear the Lord, we are broken by our sin. Unfortunately, I find myself caught up in the trap of sin far too often. But it doesn’t break me. In fact, most of the time, it doesn’t even effect me. I take forgiveness for granted, and even though it is freely given, it is not something to be taken lightly. If I fail to pause and realize the wonder of God’s grace, if I forget the price that was paid for my sin, if I do not fall on my knees before my living God and acknowledge his pain and suffering at my expense, then I do not fear the Lord. My Savior cried out in anguish under the weight of my guilt and shame, yet I take my forgiveness and walk away time after time without shedding a tear. He who was innocent suffered at the hands of evil men on my behalf, yet I do not have to suffer because of his loving forgiveness. How can I truly say that I fear the Lord if I do not recognize the price of my sin and allow myself to be broken at the foot of the cross?

My gracious and loving heavenly father. Please forgive me when I fail to fear you. Please forgive me when I take your forgiveness for granted. Please remind me every day of your unfailing love. When I stumble, draw me to attention. When I fail you and follow my own path, gently lead me back to you with your firm hand. When I come to you seeking your advice, but with my mind already made up, remind me that you alone are all-knowing, all-powerful, all-present, and forever faithful. Amen

Questions

This will be list that will grow as I think of more! I just wanted to put it away safely so that I wouldn't forget them.

Questions to ask a potential mate:

1. How would you describe your relationship with God?
2. What are two or three things that God has been teaching you in the past month?
3. Describe the relationship between your parents when you were growing up.
4. Describe your parents' relationship now.

Was it all a dream?

So, for the past several days, I have been at a student activities programming conference with some of my students. We've had a great time. I met Bob Guiney (of abc's The Bachelor fame) and Dennis Haskins, who is better known as Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell. There were a few other celebrities as well. We had a pretty good time, but on Friday night, something strange happened. Before I go any further, you have to understand that at these conferences, events start at 8 AM and end around 2 AM, leaving you with about 4 hours of sleep each night. Some of us advisors forget that we aren't college students anymore and by the end of the week, the lack of sleep catches up with us. Well, I decided to turn in relatively early Friday evening, around 1 AM. I rode the elevator up to my floor and got off with one of the artists who was showcasing at the conference whose room was on the same floor. I've had this guy, Matt Larson, (phenomenal muscian by the way, you should definitely hire him for an event) on my campus so we know each other and were talking as we turned the corner of the hallway.

As we rounded the bend, we were greeted by a sleepy resident of one of the first few rooms, warning us that some crazy student had just run down the hallway, breaking all of the globe lights on the walls. Sure enough, there was shattered glass all up and down the hallway and most of the globes on the lights were missing/broken/in pieces, etc. We asked a few questions and continued down the hallway, talking about how silly this all was. As we reached the next corner, another door opened to another sleepy lady telling us she had just called the police. She had seen the guy run into one of the rooms and said he had done all of this with his hands. Then she said, "I hope they can find him." Of course, my first thought was, just look for the guy with the bloody hands! Pretty simple, but okay.

So, Matt Larson and I continue down the hallway, still talking about the senselessness of it all, but not too fazed. After all, these are college students, and alcohol was probably involved. Not that it's an excuse, just a reality. I said goodnight, went into my room, and proceeded to prepare for the ed session I was leading the next morning.

Fast forward to the next morning. My friend Amanda and I are walking down the hallway towards the elevators when it dawns on me, there is no broken glass in the hallways. There are no half broken globes on the lights on the walls. In fact, if you had not seen it the night before, you would have never known that anything had happened. Only a few short hours had gone by and everything was back to normal. Brand new globes were on the lights. The glass on the floor was gone. Nothing was out of order! Perhaps this surprised me more than it should have because I work at an institution where broken things often stay broken for months! Rarely does anything get fixed overnight, and never in the middle of the night! When I saw my students at lunch on Saturday, I relayed the story to them and asked if they saw it when they got to their rooms last night. They didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Let me break down this timeline for you: 1 AM - I head to my room amidst broken glass and lamp globes. 2 AM - they head to their room and nothing is out of the ordinary. Same hallway, same floor, same night/morning, 1 hour difference.

It's at this point that I start to wonder if I dreamed the entire thing up! After all, I have been keeping long hours with little or no sleep. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Throughout the day, my students become more and more convinced that I'm making the story up! I know that I at least have one witness that I can count on to confirm my story, but the more the students question me, the more I begin to question myself!

Was it all a dream? Did I imagine it? It seemed so real last night. It seemed crazy at the time, but it was very real. It's strange how the human mind works. How you start to question truth even when you are sure of yourself. Just one little seedling of doubt can convince you of the opposite. The media counts on this phenomenon. So do con artists, abusers, predators, etc. Knowing truth and beleiving truth are often two separate things. Believing truth requires faith. Doubt is a powerful tool, but only if we give it power.

God's word is right in John 8:32 where it says "And you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." I did feel free with I found my other witness later in the evening to confirm the story. These hotel people were really on the ball. It must have been like being in a Nascar pit crew when they were replacing those globes. Maybe they should come train our maintenance staff at work. Maybe I should get more sleep.

HOPE

This is not something I wrote. It's something I read on a young child's caringbridge site. But it fits my circumstance lately.

There may come a time when little makes sense, and evil and chaos seem to be winning the day. These might be times when we feel hopelessness and confusion, when we do not see even a flicker of light. And the lesson of Jesus’ scars is to hold on, to be patient and to trust God, even when we cannot see any reason to do so. He will help us. There is a loving God who can sustain us, enable us to endure, and mold us into someone better than we were before. The cross prepares us for difficult times. The resurrection proves that God is greater than evil, and it gives confidence and HOPE during the dark times. Because the risen Christ’s wounds show us that our hope is not in vain.
Rebecca Manley Pippert
His Miracles

The Lord's Presence

11 Then He said, Go out and stand on the mountain in the Lord's presence. At that moment, the Lord passed by. A great and mighty wind was tearing at the mountains and was shattering cliffs before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was a voice, a soft whisper. 13 When Elijah heard [it] , he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.
1 Kings 19:11-13 (HCSB)

There's been a situation in my life for the past six months that I don't understand. It's not even my situation. It belongs to someone else! A young girl is having to deal with things that NO ONE should experience. I honestly thought some of her family situations were reserved for the talk shows like Jerry Springer or Maury. I thought they were fake. But I now know they are real. And it saddens me to no end.

God showed me something this morning, though, that amazes me. He is indeed true to His word, and even when I don't understand the situation, I can hold to this promise! I have been praying diligently for the past several months that God would show His power in this young girl's life, that He would change her situation, that He would "take care of the bad guys!" I could not understand why God was not honoring my prayer. I kept receiving assurance from God that He was indeed there and that my response should be praise, even in the midst of the horrible. I was having a hard time praising, and I knew this young girl had to be struggling even more.

Yesterday, another terrible thing happened. I cried out to God, "Where are you? Why aren't you showing yourself? Why won't you show your power? I keep telling her you are more powerful than all evil, but why aren't you proving it to her and to me?"

Last night, God reminded me of the scripture from 1 Kings about Elijah standing in the presence of God. In that instance, God did not show himself in the fire. He did not show himself in the mighty wind. He did not show himself in the earthquake. All of those things were of God, but God showed himself to Elijah in a whisper. It took me all night, but this morning I finally realized that God has been showing His power this entire time. He has been answering my cries. I was just expecting it in a huge and miraculous way. I was puttig parameters on the ways God could show His power in this situation. I was trying to make God an image of myself instead of the other way around. I wanted God to do what I wanted Him to do. But God doesn't work that way. And He is continually reminding me of that. You see, God has been there all along. This young girl has had several opportunities to give up, to take a break from the world, to end it all. In fact, most people in her situation would have done so. However, God has given her the strength to persevere. God has been there, walking beside her, giving her some glimpse of hope, no matter how small. Without God in her life, there is no telling where she would be right now.

Now, I still don't understand why God is choosing to work this way. It seems to me it would be better for everyone if He would just sweep in and save the day. But, I suppose we might miss the lessons He's teaching all of us if He did that. We would miss out on Him drawing us closer to himself. We might overlook God. We might give someone else the glory, a glory that belongs to God alone. The prophet Isaiah wrote:

8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways. [This is] the Lord's declaration. 9 For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (HCSB)

I've spent a great deal of my morning praising God for His faithfulness, for His goodness, for His lovingkindness. I praise the Lord that He taught me this lesson, in spite of myself! Here are the words to the chorus of a song God gave me recently.

You are God, You are Lord
You are Holy, Everlasting Father
Mighty God, Prince of Peace
Jehovah Jireh, My Provider
The Comforter, who comes to me, in my ever-present need
The tiny babe in Bethlehem
Forgiving Savior in Jerusalem
So I fall down on my knees
Before the glorious, almighty
Hope of the world.

To God be the Glory!!!!

Christmas 2006

I have painfully neglected my blog over the past several months, so I guess this will go on my New Year's Resolution list! Anyway, Christmas has come and gone. It flew by this year! And now, sitting here on December 26th, I wonder why it is this date seems to give people the freedom to go back to being selfish and stop thinking of others. So many of us seem to lose the Christmas spirit as soon as Christmas Day comes to a close. I have to go to Wal-Mart today, and let me just say, I am dreading it BIG TIME! Talk about a place that will make you lose your Christmas spirit! At least I only have to go to the Tire/Auto center and can avoid the rest of the store. For that, I am very thankful. I just pray that this year we will not forget what it means to put others first and to live constantly with a giving spirit.

So, here are some humorous highlights from this Christmas season:

1. My cousin Tre's ending to the reading of the Christmas story from the Bible: "And we'll just stop right there because it goes on to talk about circumcision."

2. My family's overwhelming reaction to my Christmas letter. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but I guess I have to write one every year now!

3. My family and the Caramel Cake Comedy!

4. A conversation with little 3 year old Madison from my church:
Me: Madison, you got a haircut. It's beautiful. Is that your special Christmas haircut?
Madison: No, it's just a regular haircut.

5. Finding out that Christopher, from the Children's Choir I direct, wanted everything about their Christmas performance to be a surprise from his parents and would only practice in his room with the door shut. Too cute!

6. A family at church, almost spilling the beans about Santa Claus to their son in the middle of a Christmas party!

7. My boss' embarrassing introductions of staff members at our annual Christmas party. Apparently to him, we are all "our newest acquisitions"...oh, and the Irish Meade...can't forget that!

It really was a great Christmas season. Funny, special, touching, emotional, loving, and memorable. May we truly experience God with us throughout the year.

Rain

It's raining right now. I don't feel like being profound. I feel like being at home. I wish I was at home. But, I can't go home because I have to lead a workshop in about 45 minutes. I would rather be at home, in my pajamas, snuggled under a blanket, watching TV. Tomorrow is a big day for me. The day I begin to see one of my dreams come true. I am no longer hoping. I am doing. It may not change the external part of my life much, but I think it will definitely change me on the inside. I'm kind of nervous. People are going to read my thoughts and hear my words. I don't know if any of it is any good, but that's not really why I'm doing it anyway. I am making a choice to take a step towards fulfilling a dream.

I may be fired when I return to work on Wednesday. I'm trying to remind myself that all people, even the ones I find it hard to like, are God's creation and deserve to be treated with respect. I'm trying to love my enemy. It's hard, though. I'm hurt. Other people are hurt. And my enemy just sits back satisfied with himself. But this is the real world. I just pray that God will help me love him. I really don't want to, but I guess that doesn't really matter. I've been commanded to love him by God himself. And pleasing God is much more important than pleasing man or my own ego.

Time Stood Still

There I was, standing in line at the jewelry counter at the local Wal-Mart because time was standing still, at least according to my watch. It had said 4:30 for about 5 days, so I was on a mission for a new battery. As I was waiting, a lady and a little girl, about 7 or 8 years old, walked up on the other side of the counter. The lady explained that the little girl was lost and looking for her mother. It was then that I noticed the little girl was crying. And not the kind of crying that results in a few tears down the cheek. She was sobbing uncontrollably, even having trouble catching her breath. The Wal-Mart associate tried her best to comfort the little girl, as did the lady who had obviously found her in this distressed state. Quickly, the associate made an announcement over the loud speaker, calling the mother's name and indicating that her party was waiting at the jewelry counter. Now I know, and you know, that the associate said it in this way because she was trained to do so. You can't just announce that a lost little girl is looking for her mother and is waiting at the jewelry counter. Who knows who might show up to claim her?

But, I couldn't help but wonder how that made the little girl feel. She was still sobbing uncontrollably, and I could almost hear her voice shouting, "Why are you calling for my mother, telling her I'm waiting for her? I'm not just waiting. I'm lost. I need her. I need her now. Why are you so calm? Don't you understand? I'm lost from my mother. Please do something. Please help me find her. Tell her I'm lost so she'll get here quicker. Please lady, please!"

A few moments later, the mother arrived and the little girl ran into her arms. Both mother and daughter were crying now. The mother tried to explain to whoever would listen what had happened. She was not careless. She had not intentionally lost sight of her daugther. It had just happened. She was so glad to have her daugther back safely in her arms. She spent several minutes consoling her and reassuring her that everything was okay now.

It that moment, I was struck by how similar her reaction is to God's when his children lose their way. The mother had not left her child. Instead, the child had wandered away from her mother, most likely because she was preoccupied by something in the store. Something flashy, something exciting to the 7 year old eye. And her preoccupation had caused her to wander. And the more she wandered, the more lost she became. Before long, she didn't even know how to go about finding her mother. That's often how we are as humans in our relationship with God. Something in the world that is flashy and interesting catches our eyes and leads us down a road, away from God. When we finally realize we are lost, it is often difficult to understand where to begin our journey back to him. Hopefully, there is someone in our lives that can help lead us back to Him, back to the place where he welcomes us with open arms. Back to the arms that comfort our sobs and help us breathe normally again. Back to safety and shelter. Back home. It is then, and only then, that we realize that God is faithful to His word when he said "I will never leave you or forsake you." He doesn't leave us. We walk away from Him. The Bible says in Hebrews to "fix your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of your faith." Why is it, then, that I have my back to Him more often than my eyes fixed upon Him?

There was another part of the scene today that caused a catch in my throat. You see, the little girl had a sister that had been riding in the buggy with her mother throughout the entire episode. The younger sister didn't seem to understand what all the fuss was. She was laughing and giggling as if nothing had happened. She wanted to go eat something. What was the big deal? Her sister was there now? Was this really worth all of the commotion? That's what struck me the most out of the whole ordeal. You see, as Christians, too many times when our brothers and sisters are lost and are found again, we have the same reaction as the younger sister. What's the big deal? Can't we just go get something to eat? We've been walking (or riding as the case may be) with the Saviour all along. Is the fact that this person has now found their way back to the place they should have been all along really worth all this fuss?

The answer is a resounding YES!! Yes, it is worth all of the fuss. It is worth tears of joy! But too many times, we don't react that way. We treat it like it's an every day occurance and of no eternal importance. But it is! IT IS!!! We should rejoice just like the Saviour does. We should be excited that one of our brothers and sisters who was lost is now found. As the ninety-nine, we should be overjoyed and unable to contain our excitement.

It is no coincidence that I read Karen Kingsbury's new book, Found, this morning before I set out on my trip to Wally world. I don't know if this little moment would have registered with such importance if I had not read that book. The scene that played out in Wal-Mart echoed the theme of the book. We were all once lost and now am found. We should desire that for everyone in our lives. We should rejoice when it happens! We should do everything in our power to bring to life the eternity that God has set in each person's heart. An eternity with Him.

There were tears in my eyes as it became my turn in line at the jewelry counter. The tears slowly started running down my face as I continued to watch this family reunited. At first, I was ashamed, and thought, "I wonder what the associate is going to think of me crying." But then I decided I didn't care. Because this little girl, who was lost and now is found, represents so much more than I could ever imagine. It is definitely worthy of tears of joy. And for the moment, time stood still.

The Little Things

Do you know how much I love my Direct TV? If they asked me to do a commercial, I would! And I hate being on camera. But I love it that much. I'm never at home to watch TV, so the invention of the DVR was quite an amazing contribution to my life! That's the only way I get to see anything. Well, this week, my Direct TV receiver decided to stop working. Who know's why, but when I called on Monday, the lady said the earliest anyone could come out would be Thursday between 1 pm and 5 pm. I still don't understand why they can't give you a smaller time frame, but nonetheless, I had to be satisfied with my Thursday fix it time. I kind of got the feeling that God was just telling me I needed to come home and rest at night instead of watching TV. It's been a crazy 2 weeks. I've worked 18 hour days, and quite frankly, I've been looking forward to going home tomorrow afternoon, locking the door, turning off my cell phone, unplugging the house phone, and watching TV! Of course, I can't see my shows I missed all week because of the lack of DVR, but thank goodness for Soapnet! General Hospital here I come!!!

Anyway, when the guy arrived at my house today to fix the darn thing, he started to give me a brand new DVR receiver!!! It could record twice as much as my old one, and it was going to be FREE!!!!! But, it didn't work either. I was beginning to think I was cursed and actually whined when he told me it would be two or three days before they could send a new receiver to me! I know the guy must have thought I was crazy. I'm sure he doesn't see a grown woman whining on her couch every day just because her cable is out.

In that moment, I was struck by the importance of the little, meaningless things in my life, like Direct TV, that seem to consume me. Why do I let them have so much importance? I don't know the answer, but I do. And, tonight, it will be very important as I watch TV for the first time since last Friday!!!!

I am so excited! Here I go again...

The Person I Want to Be

So, this is my first blog entry ever! I hope it makes sense, but I guess by definition, it doesn't really have to!! Today was a strange day that helped me clarify some things I've been mulling over lately. I have a friend who's going through a pretty big storm right now. I don't always know what to say, or how to act, or what to do. This morning, though, I opened up and shared with her the lyrics to a song I wrote. The song is basically about how we deal with the storms in our lives. It's so easy to want to curl up, lie still, and hope the storm happens to pass over without doing much damage. In those times, it's so easy to question God, doubt God, be angry at God, etc. But it's at those times that we need to stand up and stand strong, and trust God to use the rain to wash over us, wash out impurities, and to cleanse us and open our eyes. I don't share songs I write very often. Most of the time, they are just for me. But I felt like this one could help her right now during this very violent storm. I actually started writing the song about 7 years ago when my friend Kristen's mom was battling cancer for the second time. I've had the chorus (words and tune) in my mind since then. Lately, I just felt compelled to finish it. It just so happened that me finishing it coincided with this friend's storm. Coincidence? I think not! We have a great God who can orchestrate timing seven years in advance for something so small.

It was her reaction, though, that made the most difference. This friend has this idea that I am some great woman of God, insightful, strong, faithful, etc. I guess I am those things from time to time, but not as often or as consistent as I would like to be or should be. I wish I could be that person for myself all the time! But I'm not. I fail. I sin. I do bad things. I have bad thoughts. I lust. I gossip. A couple of years ago, during a Bible Study I was leading for my college girls, one of them asked me, "Do you ever sin?" I had had a bad experience that day at Best Buy (the Geek Squad guy was being a jerk! - wow, how weird, a Best Buy commerical came on TV as I was typing that). I was not very nice to the sales guy at the store and was definitely not a Christian witness. So, the joke became with my students that I only sinned one hour a week, Thursdays from 4-5! If they only knew the truth! I'm singing a duet in church on Sunday. The chorus of the song says

Are we shiny happy people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open to every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain, on our stained glass masquerade

There's a line in the verse that says, "Am I the only one who's traded in the altar for a stage?"

More often than not, I feel just that way. Like I am an actress, putting on a front for all these people in my life who have an idea of who I am. I just wonder what they would think if they really knew me or really saw me.

But the thing is, that's who I want to be. I want to be the person everyone thinks I am, but I don't know if I'll ever truly measure up to that. I want to be the person my friend thanked me for being this morning. With all of my heart, that's who I want to be. How do I blend that with the reality of who I really am. A flawed sinner. Thank heavens for God's grace!

On a similar note, I was sitting at dinner tonight in the cafeteria at the school. I happened to sit down with three male students that I know somewhat, but not very well. The table I would have chosen to sit at was full. So, I just sat down and started talking to these students. I noticed something familiar on the tshirt of the student who was sitting directly across from me. But, I just thought I was imagining things and decided to ignore it. A few moments later, he noticed the charm on my necklace (my Belle charm) and asked what it was. When he asked, he had this look of recognition on his face. I explained it was from a camp I went to growing up. He confirmed that it was Camp Crestridge and proceeded to tell me that he attended Camp Ridgecrest for 12 years and worked there for 2! That's why the logo on his shirt looked familiar. He started as a camper my last year as a camper, in 1993! Boy, did that make me feel old. But we still knew some of the same people. It was kind of surreal. The sad thing is, this student got into some trouble last year. It saddened me to think he had temporarily forgotten so many of those things he learned at camp. He succombed to peer pressure and other pressures that come with college life. We kind of established a friendship through that conversation tonight. Maybe God can use me to make a differene in this student's life over the next year. Maybe I can be a positive spiritual influence and remind him of some of those important camp values and lessons. Again, I am constantly amazed at how God can use me when I'm not even trying. Just think what a difference I could make for His kingdom if I was completely surrendered.