It's like I lost contact with a close friend for some time. It's like I lost an appendage and have been figuring out how to go on without it. It's also as if I went on a diet from something healthy, for example, I stopped eating any kind of fruit. And it's all because I haven't found myself here in a long time. I haven't blogged since August. Sure, I can list of all of the excuses running around in my brain, but I think the real reason is that I purposely took a break from exposing my self as a way to protect myself. I don't know what I was trying to protect myself from, but it ends here, today, right now! It's not that I haven't wanted to blog. I just haven't disciplined myself to do it, much like I don't discipline myself to work out on a regular basis, even though I know how critical it is to my overall health. But, like I said, I'm trying to get back on track. The sad thing is, though, I've missed out on tracking my spiritual journey the last few months. But, God has truly taught me so much. The good thing about taking this blogging break is that it resulted in me expressing myself through song writing, something I had not done in a long time! But I want both!!!!
In the early hours of this morning as sleep hasn't been an option, I've been contemplating a new spiritual development theory for college students, specifically for students who are "
churched" youth who enter college for the first time. I have had countless conversations with my students that support this theory. I haven't finished developing it completely, so maybe I should call it a pattern and not a theory. I'm sure the scientific and psychological world would dismiss it has
craziness, but I see it played out in the lives of my college students day after day.
I guess it really does coincide with some other developmental theories. Early college students are often in a stage of cognitive development where everything is black and white, the teacher has all of the answers, and they aren't really interested in learning. They just want to be told what they have to know for the test. It's not about learning something new or letting this new knowledge transform their lives. It's all about completing a checklist. And sadly, many Christians, but especially students at that age who are considered "
churched," approach their spiritual lives that way as well. When I say "
churched" I don't necessarily mean spiritually mature. I'm referring to those students who grew up in a Christian home, who attended church on a regular or semi-regular basis, who can give the Sunday School answers to spiritual questions but have little spiritual depth. It seems that their spiritual walk is all about the religion of it all. There's a spiritual checklist that they use to measure their spiritual health.
I pray before my meals...check
I go to church, well, sometimes...check
I don't cuss as much as other people...check
I pray to God in times of crisis...check
My friends know I'm a Christian, at least in name...check
I keep my Bible by my bedside, just in case I need it...check
I'm not having sex with my boyfriend/girlfriend...check
I might go to parties, but I don't drink...check
And for them, this is what the Christian life consists of, little more than a checklist of dos and
don'ts. They are good people, or at least they are not that bad. And that's stage one.
Stage two begins when some catalyst thrusts them into a spiritual bubble. Some might say they are "on fire for Jesus." These students attend every Bible Study offered on campus, every night of the week. They decide to become closer to God by only listening to Christian music. They isolate themselves from anyone who doesn't want to participate in
Christian things like they do. They absorb every spiritual word they receive but maintain that legalistic checklist, often leading to feelings of hopelessness and guilt because they start to see their own failures and begin to wonder if they'll ever measure up. They want to live their lives for God's purposes, but don't know quite how to mesh that with the world around them. They pick someone to be their beacon of truth and depend on that person's words rather than the Word of God. Sadly, if they never move out of Stage 2, they may fall away completely, taking a lot of other people down with them.
So what's the next stage? Relationship. It's coming to the realization or understanding that living the life God calls us to live is not about a spiritual checklist to see if you measure up. It's not about isolating oneself from the world around us and living in a spiritual bubble. It's not about storing up spiritual information and never doing anything with it other than maintaining a spiritual file. It's about a relationship with the Heavenly Father. It's understanding that we will never measure up outside of the grace of Jesus Christ. It's understanding that being good is not the answer, rather being in a relationship with God is. It's wanting to live your life in such a way as to honor God, to bring glory to His name. It's living out a counter reality within the world's reality. It's learning to live by the only standard that matters, God's. It's daily dying to self and selfish desires and making the desires of God your own. It's putting on the spiritual armor on a daily (or moment by moment) basis. It's realizing that the battle is not against flesh, but against evil. It's seeing that our relationship with God will transform our relationship with other people. If our relationship with God is healthy and growing, our perspective on evangelism is transformed into a relational approach. It's realizing how much God loves us and striving to love Him as He deserves. It's learning to be transparent before the One who knows all and understands us better than we understand ourselves. It's allowing God's grace to cover us.
My biggest struggle is figuring out how to help students move towards that relationship mentality. God has been setting this before me a great deal lately. And I'm just trying to figure it all out. But I know He is faithful, and on that promise I'm choosing to cling!
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